Miley Cyrus Does Obscene Thing

As a blog that focuses a lot on pop culture, we’ve been feeling the pressure to report on Miley Cyrus way more often than we’d like to. In response, we’ve drafted this article that we’d like our audience to refer to whenever Miley is caught just being Miley from now on.

Miley Does it Again

Last night/yesterday/a few minutes ago, Miley Cyrus decided that the best way to make headlines again was to (insert obscene action) at the (insert awards show or other high profile event of choice). It was even more ridiculous than the last thing she did, so we feel the need to pay far more attention to it this time. We are sure that this press coverage was definitely our idea, and not Miley’s intention at all.

Miley was wearing (insert description of overtly sexual outfit here) and twerked repeatedly, even when no one asked her to. Viewers questioned their own life choices as well as how dry Miley’s tongue must be from having stuck her tongue out so frequently. We greatly appreciate Miley’s subtle reminder that she is, in fact, an adult.

In an interview about the event, Miley credited her inspiration to (insert celebrity here). (Celebrity name) was offended by the comparison and issued heartfelt advice to Miley to stop being so absurd, which was most likely drafted by a publicist. Miley twerked it off and kept on going.

Miley’s performance clearly showed that she is empowered/embarrassing/really really high. Billy Ray Cyrus, well known for his portrayal of Hannah Montana’s father and also possibly having a music career once upon a decade, declined to comment on his daughter’s actions.

That concludes our Miley coverage for a while. But can we talk about how Eminem was handed an award for being a “Global Icon” at the EMAs? What is this world we live in?