What’s Next for Paula Deen?

Paula Deen, the butter queen, has been fired from her long-standing gig at the Food Network after leaked deposition documents showed that she admitted to having used the n-word in her life. Despite Paula’s multiple online apologies, and the fact that she is a 66 year old Southern woman who grew up in a time when the slur was far more acceptable in society, the Food Network is refusing to comment or budge on its decision.

Paula is continuing to attempt to salvage both her personal image and her brand, and plans to go on the Today show to try to sway public opinion back on her side. However, with endorsement deals jeopardized, QVC considering dropping the Paula Deen brand, and a cookbook and magazine publisher unwilling to comment on the celebrity chef’s deal, it looks like her brand may not be able to recover. So what could Paula do? Here are 5 suggestions I have for the Southern belle.

1. Try TLC.

Hey, the Food Network dropped you, but there are plenty of other networks in the sea. TLC clearly isn’t as offended by off color and socially risque remarks, or they wouldn’t be airing Toddlers and Tiaras or Myrtle Manor. A 24/7 reality show with Paula Deen where we can see what she’s really cooking for dinner will definitely attract a solid following. And after a few weeks of constant camera crews, America will be able to judge if she’s really a racist.

2. Get a food truck.

Maybe there are some righteous Americans who plan to boycott all things Paula Deen after this incident, but I bet their resolve would waver if a truck that smelled of buttery fried goodness parked itself down the street. Paula Deen’s delicacies are perfect for convenience food, and who wouldn’t love to see jolly Paula Deen drive into town? The best part is, she could pack up and leave whenever she accidentally offends someone, and take her whole business with her.

3.  Start a PR firm.

After a public relations nightmare like this, Paula will definitely have some practical tips for fellow celebrities. Why not start up a PR firm and start capitalizing on this expertise? An emotional speaking tour followed by a series of books on how to not offend people would be a huge money maker. A total rebrand from celebrity chef to business expert would definitely have the Food Network questioning their decision.

4. Dancing with the Stars.

Anybody who has seen a preview for this show recently knows that they are really hurting for celebrities. They would be thrilled to take Paula Deen, who would definitely translate into a ratings boost for them. It’s a win-win for everyone: the network gets ratings, America gets to watch Paula Deen dance, and Paula gets to work off some of that butter.

5. Donate some money.

Talk is cheap, but the best apologies come from the wallet. A few well-placed donations to organizations that are decidedly not racist may be enough to buy Paula Deen some good publicity. Especially if she sends cookies, too.